Joke Of The Day
A famous and successful professional golfer died and was up before God for judgment. He was met by St. Peter at the Gates of Heaven who greeted him.
“You were a great golfer, but before you meet God, I thought I should tell you that other than your great golf career, you really didn’t do anything for the common good or for the bad, so we’re not sure what to do with you,” St. Peter said. “We don’t have any golf courses in heaven, but what particularly did you do on earth that was good?”
The golfer pondered for a bit and said, “Once after playing a golf tournament in California, I was driving back to the hotel and there in the parking lot, I saw a young woman being tormented by a group of Hell’s Angels — you know, revving their engines, circling her and taunting her with obscenities.”
“Go on,” said St. Peter.
“So I stopped and got out of my car with my 5-iron and went up to the leader — the biggest guy there. He was much bigger than me, very muscular, had tattoos all over, a scar on his face and a ring in his nose. Well, I put my index finger in his nose ring and tore it out of his nose. Then I told him and the rest of them they’d better stop bothering this woman or they all would get more of the same!”
“Wow, that’s very impressive,” St. Peter replied. “When did this happen?”
“About two minutes ago,” the golfer replied.
Even Worse In Slow-Mo
Hoi Polloi – From the movie Caddyshack. Phrase uttered to a golfer arriving to the course very dressed up a la Danny Noonan at the Judge’s boat party.