17 Funny Signs You’d Only See On A Golf Course

Hilarious Signs Found On The Golf Course

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Golf can be a funny game, but sometimes the things found on the golf course can be even more hilarious. One item in particular that caught our attention is signage, especially at golf courses with unusual local rules or layouts.

Here are 10 signs we are willing to bet you have not seen at your local muni or club.

Protect Your Nuts

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If you did a double-take after reading this sign, don’t worry, we did three. A classic golf bathroom pun, this sign is not only factual but also informational. At least we know where the restrooms are located and that this course is generally concerned about your welfare – and manhood.

Free Relief


Here’s one you don’t see every day. Estes Park Golf Course in Colorado stuck this local rule sign in the ground for obvious reasons. The wildlife is definitely plentiful when you’re next to Rocky Mountain State Park, especially the elk. At least you get relief!

No Fly Zone


This local rule sign is probably a new one for most. It’s not every day you play a golf course with an active runway, but just in case the next time you play Butter Valley Golf Course in Pennsylvania, now you are aware. Whether the USGA adopts this rule remains to be seen.

Lion Crossing


Here’s an internationally recognizable sign that nobody wants to see. Judging by the four legs, mane, and the word “beware,” chances are there are some big cats, specifically lions, in the area. We guess that’s standard operating procedure when the golf course you’re playing doubles as a safari.

Your Grip Is Safe


Imagine you’re standing in front of a urinal, and you see this sign. What’s your first reaction? If you laughed, we’re on the same page. As golfers, we are always tinkering with our game, even when we shouldn’t be. This golf course clearly understands our plight and chooses to do something about it.

Don’t Go Ball Searching


This particular sign is one of those you can’t help but smile at. Obviously, this unknown course has a problem with golf ball hoarders, but the way they broached the subject seems a little too calculated. If you are ever there, just be sure to keep your balls safe and your head on a swivel.

Don’t Hit The Livestock


Fore! Or should we say moo-ve. OK, we’re sorry, but we’re not sorry for this sign taking a spot on this list. Royal St. Cloud Golf Links posted this sign at their course to call attention to the pasture that apparently is next to their track. While wayward shots are inevitable, try not to harm any animals.

That’s A Tough Pin Placement


We don’t really know how hard this green is, but we can imagine it’s a doozy. Apparently, Tot Hill Farm Golf Club was ranked as the seventh-toughest course according to Golf Digest back in 2007. If they are giving it to you, take it and don’t ask questions. Talk about a way to speed up play!

Steer Clear Of The Mine Field


This sign does not require a whole lot of explanation. What else do you expect from a golf course that has one hole in a demilitarized zone in South Korea? Installing live mines in the rough would be a nice little ripple to implement, though.

No Pressure


An instant classic, this appropriately placed red and white warning says what everybody is thinking. Logically placed 150 yards from the center of the green, it puts a little extra pressure on club selection.

Let’s be honest, if you fly it by 15 yards, you either caught a flier or have to stop going to the gym. Good news though…if you lay the sod over it, that’s $200 saved! Worst case, if you do shatter some glass, blame your caddie, even if you don’t have one!

Call The Pro

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You can almost hear the sign’s sarcastic tone as it points out your embarrassing inability to drive the ball straight. At least the course was so kind as to offer their professional’s assistance in learning how to properly swing a club, if not for his wallet’s benefit.

This Is Fun, Right?

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Spending a small fortune to hack wildly at a tiny white ball while trudging miles under a blazing sun in uncomfortable clothes, occasionally punctuated by a string of explicit curses that would make a sailor blush. Yep, that’s golf – and we love to hate every minute we willingly pay for the “privilege” of sheer frustration and misery out on the course! But hey, they say it builds character right?

What Other Words Are You Supposed To Use?

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When it comes to creative cursing, no one holds a candle to golfers. The foul-mouthed poetry we craft after botching yet another drive is a sonnet to human frustration. Our swear words are as colorful as our pants!

Find Somewhere Else

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When nature calls on the golf course, ducking behind a tree to answer is as much a part of the game as any club in your bag, except when you’re in the view of others, especially children.

It’s A Dangerous Game

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Get your hard hats and health insurance ready – golf is coming to town! Sure, it may seem tame, but between wild drives, vicious club throws, and heart attacks from the 19th hole bar tab, a day on the course is fraught with hazard. Golf just got extreme!

Don’t Lick Your Golf Ball

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Golf balls look as tasty as candy, but don’t get tricked! Licking one could end up being quite the bitter treat. Those pesticides give the phrase “tongue-tied” a whole new meaning when your mouth goes numb. A word of warning: get caught by your playing partners, and expect some serious ribbing!

The More You Know…

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Pitch marks on the green might seem harmless, but they can wreck a putt faster than a three-jack. So don your green-thumb gloves and grab the tool kit – we’re going into golf ball surgery armed with seed mix and determination. It’s the world’s hardest gardening, with no time for planting flowers. Let operation “flatten those divots” begin!