20 Ridiculous Excuses Golfers Use
Golf excuses have been around for centuries. Whether you are a professional citing a soft mattress for back pain or an amateur blaming the type of grass, we all understand the inclination to assign blame for poor – but that doesn’t mean we won’t judge.
Here are 20 absurd excuses you may have used heard on a golf course.
The tee markers are pointing in the wrong direction!
Can you believe they set up the tee markers facing the wrong way? That’s why I aimed completely off line and topped my drive nearly into the parking lot – totally not my fault with this kind of incompetent course setup!
The grain didn’t do what it was supposed to do!
If you’re talking about grain, you’re already credible enough to use it as an excuse. Heck, you could even use it on non-Bermuda greens and chances are you’re buddies will probably still believe you. When in doubt blame the putting surface.
Is this hole regulation size or what?
Always a classic, asking if something is the regulation size is one of the easiest outs in the book. You know you’re better than the front nine 54 you just posted. It’s definitely the golf course’s fault.
My glove doesn’t fit right.
Are you kidding? Either get a new glove or get rid of it, because there aren’t many things worse than blaming an accessory you hand-picked.
I just got my clubs regripped.
Another classic. What does this even mean? You got them regripped to improve your grip, feel and your overall game, didn’t you? If anything this should help you, but with a swing like that, nothing will.
I recently switched golf balls.
If you were a professional maybe we’ll believe you. But since you’re not, don’t even try and tell us your spin rates are the reason for your 26 handicap.
I hurt my arm.
Blaming a broken bone seems to be a foolproof excuse fo a poor round. Hey, it worked for Al Czervick in Caddyshack!
I’ve been making a swing change.
I’m trying to implement the new swing tips my coach gave me, which is why I keep slicing my drives into the trees – these adjustments take time to groove! Clearly it’s not because my mechanics are terrible, it’s just this difficult tweaking process throwing me off.
My foot slipped.
I can’t believe I hooked that drive out of bounds – right when I was swinging, my foot slid in the wet grass and I lost my balance! This course really needs to improve maintaining traction around the tee boxes when conditions are damp. Definitely not my swing at fault there!
That shot got crushed by the wind.
That wind gust picked up out of nowhere just as I took my swing, pushing my drive way right into the penalty area! Meteorology around here is so unpredictable – I smashed that ball perfectly, Mother Nature just had other plans. Unlucky and unfair in my book!
That cart took off right in my backswing.
As I began my backswing, someone loudly drove a cart right behind the tee box, causing me to flinch and duff my shot barely past the ladies’ tee! Can’t these amateur players have proper course etiquette and situational awareness around those teeing off? Totally threw off my focus!
There’s no sand in these bunkers!
This greenskeeper is clearly incompetent – there’s barely any sand in that bunker! I got a fried egg lie on the hard base. No wonder my explosion shot skulled over the green. They need to better maintain proper bunker depth and playability.
That was a terrible lie.
My ball found the only bare patch in this ridiculously thick rough right up against an awful sidehill lie – no wonder my next shot came out dead left and short! They call that fair? With an impossible stance and spotty grass coverage like that, couldn’t make clean contact if my life depended on it!
I’ve never played this course before.
How can they expect me to score well on a course I’ve never seen?! I don’t know optimal landing zones, trouble spots, or green complexes at all. Of course I didn’t play to my handicap – playing blind without local knowledge is completely unfair for properly managing a round!
I shot the wrong distance with my range finder.
I judged the flagstick to be 155 out, so I grabbed my 160-yard club. Turns out it played way longer with that front pin location and firm greens! Not my fault the yardages were deceiving – should’ve had a more precise rangefinder or on-course guidance to dial distances properly.
I can’t make a putt on (insert type of grass surface) greens.
These fast, undulating Bermuda greens are my kryptonite! I just can’t get the speed down or read the subtle breaks being from up north. Poa annua suits my eye better. Don’t judge my 4-putts – some surfaces we just fail to mesh with through no fault of stroke or skill!
I haven’t been able to get out and play much lately.
I never step foot on a course these days with my busy schedule! Blading chips and flubbing pitches is inevitable when you pick the clubs up once a month. Losing all those balls off the tee isn’t on me – infrequent play is the culprit! I’d be striping it daily if I could get out more!
What a terrible bounce!
My perfect drive hit the fairway and inexplicably took a huge hop left into the trees! How can I be penalized for that rotten kick and bounce? Just my luck the ball caught the only bad spot on an otherwise billiard smooth landing area to carom my ball astray!
I never play this bad.
I seriously NEVER slice my drives this bad, blade so many chips beyond greens, and 3-putt this much on a typical day! Talk about an off performance. Everything just fell apart out there – couldn’t find my tempo or touch at all. Abhorrent showing from me, unexplainable really!
I hit the wrong club.
I pulled the 8-iron when I clearly should’ve gone with the 7! That approach wound up short-siding myself – no way to get close missing that number by so much. Caddie gave me the wrong distance, I chose incorrectly – either way, not my fault I came up drastically short of the green!