If you’ve ever been to a driving range, chances are you’ve heard some absurd conversations, comments and questions from amateur golfers.
Here are 21 hilarious things we’ve overheard on the practice range.
“How far is the fence? I’m going blast this one over it”
*Duffs it 20 yards straight right*
The driving range should be a place to hone your skills, but instead, for some people, it turns into a long drive contest. Technique and all common sense go out the window when you put that low-compression yellow, almost dimple-less ball up on that oversized rubber tee. Is the fence 350? Who cares? It could’ve been 150 and you still wouldn’t have cleared it!
“I always hit the ball better on the course, you’ll see.”
This classic line has been said for as long as driving ranges have been in existence. Making excuses on the range usually results in more excuses on the course. Plus that quick duck hook isn’t going to fix itself between now and the first tee.
“Just watch me to see the right way to do it”
Another gem. This line has been a part of golfing culture since the beginning of time. When you’re on the range, everyone’s a pro. Just do yourself a favor, and don’t watch whoever says this.
Golfer 1: “Are you supposed to hit the ground when you hit the ball?”
Golfer 2: “No. If you watch the pros, they just clip the ball.”
These two golfers clearly have some things to learn about the game. Sure, hitting down on the ball in order to get the ball in the air may seem foreign to some, but this blasphemy needs to stop. What pros are you watching?
“You’re not supposed to turn your hips when you swing, just use your arms.”
Take a second to think about what this guy’s swing must look like and try not to shudder in fear. The term “armsy” comes to mind, and that’s not a good thing.
“I got to be hitting it off the toe. There’s no way the hosel of the club makes the ball go that far right!”
Wait, what? That right there sir is called a hosel rocket.
“I’ve studied Tiger Woods swing from 2000, and I actually think I swing it a lot like him.”
Stop it. Just stop it. Confidence is one thing. Being delusional is another.
*Hits a scorching worm burner*
“You see son, that’s how you keep it out of the wind.”
Nothing like Pops showing off his skills on what not to do. At least he’s trying to teach his son a lesson, albeit the wrong one.
“No man, the 56-degree wedge goes further than the 50-degree because the number is higher.”
Wrong! The sad part is, this is a true story. What on earth are people thinking?!
Golfer 1: How big a divot should I take?
Golfer 2: I heard it should look something like a dinner plate.
Golfer 1: So, like this?
No, that is not what a divot should look like. You can serve a steak on that thing.
“You left your hand out.
“You came off that one.”
“You didn’t stay under it.”
Boom, boom, boom. All three of these coming from the peanut gallery mean essentially nothing. But at least they think they sound like an instructor.
“Man, I’m really getting a hold of my driver. How far am I carrying those?”
Man looking at Trackman: You’re averaging 150 yards…with roll.
This guy is killing it! Who knows, maybe that’s his longest of the year. It’s just not something you may not need Trackman for – or for that matter, to be proud of.
“Let’s go for the blue flag”
*hits it at red flag*
“You’re up…see how close you can get it to the RED flag.”
There’s nothing like a little friendly competition at the range to keep things interesting. But come on, buddy. If you set the rules, you stick to the rules. Everybody knows that.
“You need to swing up, not down.”
We don’t even know what to say about this one.
Golfer 1: “These clubs were a gift from Seve”
Golfer 2: “Ballesteros?”
Golfer 1: “Who?”
Oh, man. If you go around touting your new clubs as “from Seve,” at least know who one of the greatest and influential golfers of all time is.
“You gotta get your right shoulder more on top at address”
Another tip that we really don’t have an explanation for. Don’t even try to figure out what it means. It’ll make your brain hurt.
“Try to hit an inch behind the ball…you know…like the pros do.”
When does it end? And again, what pros are you watching?
“Can you hit my driver? I need to see if my slice is because of me or the club.”
If you even need to ask, it’s you.
“Remember that spine angle we talked about.”
No. We don’t remember, nor should you be talking like a doctor.
“You need to grip the club like a baseball bat, that’s how they do it on TV.”
Baseball and golf are essentially interchangeable. Just kidding. Chances are this guy was watching baseball and thought it was golf. Honest mistake.
Kid: “I want to go home”
Dad: “Do you want dinner?”
Kid: “Yes…”
Dad: “Then finish this bucket like I showed you!”
Another fine lesson in parenting. Nothing like forcing your child to do something against his will by threating to take a way a meal of food.
“Hey buddy, want to know what’s wrong with your swing?”
Yes, but not from you!
Golf fan 1: “Look! There’s Tiger Woods.”
Golf fan 2: “No, that’s Vijay Singh”
Burn! Aren’t clueless golf fans the best? You can hear so much sitting at the range at pro events, just don’t listen to the people watching the pros.
“Don’t worry about all that, just swing your swing.”
While the encouragement is nice, everybody knows the ideal ball flight is not a flubbed wedge.
