Don’t look now gentlemen, but Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. You know what that means? That means you’re going to mess up your gift for that special someone in your life.
Don’t try to deny it. It happens every year. Embrace your mediocrity, Don Juan.
Regardless, we at the Back9Network are here to give you a list of what not to buy your Valentine this year. It’s the least we could do.
Here are nine awesomely bad Valentine’s Day gifts that you should definitely not purchase.
I Love Golf…And You – A word to the wise, friends: don’t put golf ahead of your loved ones. I know it’s tempting, but nobody likes to play second-fiddle to a game.
You’re a “Hole” Ball of Fun – There’s a real obvious joke in the title of this gift, but I’ll let you all use your dirty imaginations. I’m a gentleman. Dammit.
Dozen Golf Ball Roses – Just don’t. Don’t. I repeat again: DO NOT TRY TO PAWN GOLF BALLS OFF AS ROSES.
Potty Putter – Do I really need to explain why anything having to do with “number 2” isn’t the best idea for a gift?
“I Love You” Balls – I actually kind of like this one, but what would my wife do with golf balls stamped with “I love you?” Lose them in a lake? How romantic.
Valentine’s Day Golf Ball Box – Chocolates are better, and even those aren’t the best option. So overdone.
Be Mine Golf Ball Jars – How sweet. You got me a jar. In which to collect my tears from marrying you.
I Love My Wife T-Shirt – Nothing like reminding your loved one that the only time you’re happy is when you are away from them.
“I’m Crazy Fore You Button – Wanna know what’s really crazy? That someone actually designed and approved this button. It had to go through numerous stages of approval, at that. I weep for America.”
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