Ask Ali:~Love Bites & Sneaking Suspicions

I hope everyone had a great Valentine’s Day!

I put my cooking skills to the test with gluten-free, heart-shaped mini-pizzas and heart-shaped tortellinis. The best part was the Silver Oak wine and the company of my hubby, of course!

Now on to the least sexiest holiday: Presidents Day!

But if you are in the market for a new car or home furniture, you’re probably jazzed up about the Presidents Day deal you could score. And if saving money is a turn on for you then this could be your holiday after all. I might try and score a new chaise lounge myself. Oh, la, la!

Every week I ask you to write in your love and relationship questions to me on Twitter @AlyWaite and @AskAliB9N using the hashtag #AskAliB9N, and this week is no exception. Please keep ’em coming!

AskAliB9N: I was single and loving it (or so I thought) until I saw everyone’s V-day posts on Facebook and Twitter and now I’m super bummed about my single status. What to do?

Well it’s good that you don’t just want to be a Bitter Betty and simply throw yourself a pity party. It’s awesome that you aren’t harboring any feelings of resentment towards your friends and that ultimately you want to do something about how you are feeling. It’s natural to feel bummed around this time of year as we are bombarded with all things love. I have totally been there and felt like I was missing out on the love boat.

So what’s a gal to do, you ask? I say get out there, but not with the sole intention of meeting men. Just get out there into the world and do things that you enjoy and that make you happy. The more active the better. Release those endorphin (and get a killer bod to boot!) Take that spin class at the gym that had always intimidated you. Or plan a trip to somewhere you have always wanted to explore. Go big!

And if it makes you feel better then by all means post away and show the cyber world what an awesome time you are having. Honestly though, I would do everything for your personal enjoyment and not to fulfill others expectations of you or to seek their validation. I think that once you start doing stuff that makes you truly happy then you will attract that special someone to share those activities with.

To recap: you do you first! Turn that frown upside down. Enough with the computer and get out there! After a few weeks of fun come back to the computer and post an amazing profile on a dating site (including a hot new updated pic from your adventures). Then let the dating begin!

AskAliB9N: My girlfriend admitted to me that she recently went through my phone. At least she was honest but how can I trust her now?

Oh boy, not fun! I wonder if she gave a reason as to why she felt the need to invade your personal privacy and go through your phone in the first place.

Sounds like you may have trust issues already. Either she had a sneaking suspicion that something was going on behind her back and felt the need to investigate, or is super controlling and jealous. The motives here are endless. But this obvious insecurity is not good for your relationship!

Now the trust has been broken (perhaps on both sides, but it’s hard to speculate without knowing the whole backstory). Unfortunately you can’t go back and not leave your phone out for her to check. But you can put a pass code on it so she won’t be tempted to do it again. Just kidding. OK, not kidding.

Before you can forgive (and probably not forget), try to get to the bottom of what made her go through your phone in the first place. She might have just been curious; who knows, but let her know that you don’t appreciate her going through your phone like that and would not do such a thing to her. And that if she has any questions about your relationship, your faithfulness and such, her best bet is to come out and ask you.

As for you, my dear, just don’t be shady. Don’t give her any reason to have a lapse in judgement that causes her to search for clues. It’s much easier to just be honest and remain that faithful, fun-loving guy she fell for. Oh, and if you aren’t, chances are she has already gone on to stalking your email, Facebook, Twitter, etc., and she will find out!