Ask Ali:~When to Come Clean

What a fantastic past week in Orlando for the 60th annual PGA Merchandise Show. I met a lot new friends and fabulous people involved with the Back9Network. I also got a chance to check out a lot of golf gadgets, cool kicks and apparel on the showroom floor. It’s always very impressive to see the elaborate set up and aggressive marketing strategies implemented by the big names in the biz.

I also got a chance to chat with golf enthusiasts about what else but their love lives (of course!). I figured the PGA Show was the perfect setting to field some face-to-face Ask Ali questions.

Make sure to keep your questions coming to @AlyWaite or @AskAliB9N using the hashtag #AskAliB9N. As always your questions are completely anonymous, so feel free to ask away.

AskAliB9N: Let me start off by saying I love my wife very much but sometimes I just want my freedom. The freedom to do whatever I want without having to run it by her first. Case in point: I was invited to play at this beautiful course with my buddy on a Friday, and I felt guilty about it. I decided to not inform my wife and go ahead and play at the awesome course. Unfortunately my wife ended up finding out because my buddies’ wife knew and spilled the beans. This did not sit well with my wife at all. She was very upset and didn’t understand why I needed to sneak off to play golf! Help! How do I handle this/avoid a similar situation in the future? 

I totally get it! And you are not doing anything wrong except for breaking her trust, resulting in what you have already experienced: horrible repercussions. You never want to lie to her because it’s inevitable that you will get caught. You shouldn’t feel like you have to lie to do something you enjoy and is completely harmless. Looks way shadier if she finds out after the fact and it will make her question your motives even further.

In the future if you are presented with a similar situation I would come clean with her from the get-go. Call her up and explain that a wonderful opportunity has presented itself and, if she is less than jazzed, explain to her how excited you are and how you were hoping she would share your enthusiasm. If she still doesn’t get it then you guys need to really sit down and hash it out later (after you blow off some stream on the fairways, of course).

If golf is what makes you tick, she needs to understand who she married and that denying you of this happiness is detrimental to your overall well-being. She needs to know that once in a blue moon you just need to blow off the stress of the day and go golfing, period, end of story, no questions asked. And in return you need to come to an agreement about something she is as passionate. Maybe she loves the New Kids on the Block so encourage her to go nuts with her friends for a girls night out to their reunion tour! Do whatever you gotta do, but, bottom line, you need to come to understanding about golf and it’s role in your life. It doesn’t mean you love her any less but it’s just something you need to do for you. The truth isn’t always easy but it’s the way to go here.

AskAliB9N: As a female and business professional, I am realizing the important connection between golf and business. I don’t want to be left out at the club house while my colleagues socialize with my boss and key people within our company on the course. My husband and I golf together, and I enjoy it for leisure purposes, but I’m looking for a leg up over my competition. Any suggestions before I go nuts with my husband’s impractical teachings? 

As they say, knowing is half the battle, and it’s great that you are aware of the edge you will gain from growing your own game of golf. There are a lot resources out there. And depending on the area you live there are hands on courses you can attend to improve your golf skills as a biz woman. A little Google research will take you a long way here. Look for clubs, courses and seminars for businesswomen and golf.

I would also encourage you to not completely blow off your husband’s attempts. At least he’s trying. Plus after taking some courses how cool would it be to show him a thing or two out there on the course! Good luck and enjoy!