9 Golf Etiquette Rules Most Idiots Ignore

I’ve been playing golf for over 20 years and am quite comfortable with the fact that I stink. And to be honest, I’m quite comfortable in the fact that most people I’m paired-up with also stink. I’ve always said: “You don’t have to be good at golf to love it or play it.” However, golf etiquette is another story completely and quite necessary on the golf course.

Anybody who was taught to play this game the right way knows what I’m talking about – those unspoken rules of golf that show respect to your fellow players. You know; don’t step in someone’s line; don’t put your bag on the green; don’t talk while someone is swinging; etc.

The aforementioned rules are classic and well-known. But there are other, less obvious etiquette laws that golfers ignore all the time. Below are 10 discourteous acts that many uncultivated types employ on a regular basis:

9) Hitting on the Cart Girl
This has got to be the worst come-on ever. It’s right up there with hitting on the waitress. Look, everybody knows the MOFOBETE will probably be hot – that’s why she got the job in the first place. But we men inevitably regress into gawking Cro-Magnon’s and can’t help but treat these girls like they’re dancing on a pole instead of serving us a beer.


8) Throwing your Clubs
I actually polled people about this in a post I wrote last year. Sure, it might be funny for the first time or two someone follows-up a wretched shot with a toss of the old club. But if that same person is constantly flinging the war sticks across the fairway, it can get annoying fast. You’ve heard the saying “there’s no crying in baseball?” Well, there should be no temper-tantrums in golf.

7) Talking on your Cell Phone
There’s actually an entire site dedicated to cell phone behavior. In golf, unless you’re waiting at the turn, there’s no reason to be chatting-away while walking up the fairway. And I guarantee the conversation won’t end just because it’s someone’s turn to hit – nope…you’ll just talk softer (but not soft enough) and inevitably will end the call by saying “OK, Bye” really loudly. How about keeping the phone in your bag and on mute during the round?


6) Texting During Someone’s Swing
I know you think you’re being discreet by texting instead of talking, but I can still see your stupid fingers going a mile a minute in my peripheral vision. Isn’t golf hard enough without multitasking? There’s no reason to: Tweet about every shot; upload course pics to your Facebook page; or checkin at the 5th hole on Foursquare. Please note the last sentence of #8.

5) Swearing Profusely…at Yourself
It’s totally cool if you want to call yourself an “asshole” after a poor shot. I get it – you’re frustrated and you needed to express yourself – completely understandable. But don’t go running away with it. There’s absolutely no reason to carry on verbally abusing yourself over a slice you’ve had since the 10th grade. I mean, where is your self respect? Really, it’s embarrassing – for both you and your foursome.

Dammit Tiger, Curse Away!


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