Golf Joke Of The Day: Monday, July 31st


One morning, a man approached the first tee only to see another guy approaching from the other side. They began talking and decided to play nine holes together.

After teeing off, they set off down the fairway continuing their chat.

“What do you do?” the first man asked. “I’m a salesman. What about you?”

“I’m a hitman for the mob,” replied the second man.

The hitman noticed that the first guy started getting a little nervous and continued. “Yeah,” he said, “I’m the highest-paid guy in the business. I’m the best.”

He stopped, sat down his bag of clubs and pulled out a fancy, high-powered rifle that was loaded with all types of scopes and sights. He than asked the man where he lived.

Still nervous the man replied, “I live in a subdivision just west of here.”

The hitman placed the gun against his shoulder, faced west, peered into a scope and asked, “What color roof do you have?”

“Gray,” the salesman responded.

Then the hitman asked “What color siding?”


“You got a silver Toyota?”

“Yeah,” replied the first man who was now completely amazed by the accuracy of the hitman’s equipment. “That’s my wife’s car.”

“That your red pickup next to it?” the hitman asked.

Looking baffled, the man asked if he could look through the scope. Looking through the sights, he said “Hell. That’s my buddy Jeff’s truck. What the hell is he doing there if I’m..?”

The hitman looked through the scope once more. “Your wife a blond?”


“Your buddy got black hair?”


“Well, I don’t know how to tell you, but I think you’ve got a problem. They’re going at it like a couple of teenagers in there,” said the hitman.

“I’ve got a problem??! They have got the problem! I want you to shoot both of them! Right now!”

The hitman paused and said, “Sure, but it’ll cost you. Like I said, I’m the best. I get paid $5,000 per shot.”

“I don’t care! Just do it! I want you to shoot her right in the head, then shoot him right in the groin!”

The hitman agreed, turned, and took firing position. He carefully stared into the sights, taking careful aim. He then said, “You know what, buddy? This might be your lucky day. I think I can save you $5,000!”


<— Yesterday’s Joke

Related Content:

Golf Joke Of The Day: Saturday, July 29th

Golf Joke Of The Day: Friday, July 28th


Golf Joke Of The Day: Thursday, July 27th

Golf Joke Of The Day: Wednesday, July 26th

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