One morning, a man approached the first tee only to find another guy approaching from the other side. They began talking and decided to play 9 holes together.
After teeing off, they started off down the fairway, continuing their chat.
“What do you do?” the first man asked.
“I’m a salesman. What about you?”
“I’m a hitman for the mob,” replied the second man.
The hitman noticed that the first guy started getting a little nervous and continued.
“Yeah. I’m the highest paid guy in the business. I’m the best.” He stopped, sat down his bag of clubs, and pulled out a fancy, high-powered rifle that was loaded with all types of scopes and sights. He then asked the man where he lived.
Still nervous the man replied, “In a subdivision just west of here.”
The hitman placed the gun against his shoulder, faced west, peered into a scope and asked, “What color roof ya’ got?”
“Gray.”
Then he asked “What color siding?”
“Yellow.”
“You got a silver Toyota?”
“Yeah,” replied the first man who was now completely amazed by the accuracy of the hitman’s equipment. “That’s my wife’s car.”
“That your red pickup next to it?”
“No.” the baffled golfer said, then he asked if he could look through the scope.
Looking through the sight, he said “Hell. That’s my buddy Jeff’s truck. What the hell is he doing there if I’m..?”
The hitman looked through the scope once more. “Your wife a blonde?”
“Yeah.”
“Your buddy got black hair?”
“Yeah!”
“Well, I don’t know how to tell you, but I think you’ve got a problem. They’re going at it like a couple of teenagers in there,” said the hitman.
“Problem?! They’re the ones who’ve got the problem! I want you to shoot both of them! Right now!”
The hitman paused and said, “Sure, but it’ll cost you. Like I said, I’m the best. I get paid $5,000 per shot.”
“I don’t care! Just do it! I want you to shoot her right in the head, then shoot him right in the groin!”
The hitman agreed, turned, and took firing position. He carefully stared into the sight, taking careful aim.
Then he said, “You know what buddy? This is your lucky day. I think I can save you $5,000!”
Related Content:
Golf Joke Of The Day: Friday, March 17th
Golf Joke Of The Day: Thursday, March 16th
Golf Joke Of The Day: Wedmesday, March 15th
Golf Joke Of The Day: Tuesday, March 14th
— — —
Keep yourself up-to-date with the latest goings-on in the world of golf by following the SwingxSwing Clubhouse on social media. We share stories, stats and breaking news on Twitter, keep the fun going off the course on Instagram and share any and all golf-related topics on Facebook.
SwingxSwing is a golf mobile app and entertainment company whose golf GPS & scorecard mobile app is the top-rated free golf GPS and scorecard app in the world with over 3.5 million downloads. The SwingxSwing Clubhouse entertains its millions of golfer and golf enthusiast visitors with compelling content on professional golf, instruction, equipment, comedy and other lifestyle categories on a daily basis.
Never be in the odd golfer out when your friends are talking about the latest or funniest happenings in golf. Sign up for the SxS newsletter today!
